Lessons from Leah’s Life

In today’s blog we are going to go way back to the first book of the Bible to unpack a timeless message about identity. Yep, that’s right. We are going to look at a crisis of identity in Genesis.

You see, struggling with questions about who we are and where we fit in this world isn’t new. 

It’s not a problem that evolved with social media or in the age of selfies…this has been a really important and significant part of life from the very beginning. So come with me today as we look at the life of Leah.

L

eah was the first wife of Jacob (he ended up with four - very different time and culture). Jacob was the son of Isaac and grandson of Abraham - a major player in the Old Testament. He later wrestled with God and his name was changed to Israel. His children would become the 12 tribes that formed God’s own special nation.

Now, you would think that this family, who played such a big part in God’s story here on Earth would have their lives pretty well worked out. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Their story is full of brokenness and heartache, just like many of our lives are, however God was able to bring great hope and beauty out of their shame and disappointment, just as he can in us!

You can read the full story of Leah’s marriage to Jacob in Genesis 29, and I encourage you to do this, however I will briefly summarise it here. Basically, Jacob was in love with Rachel, Leah’s younger sister. Their father, a man named Laban, promised Jacob that he could marry Rachel if he worked for him for 7 years. Jacob agreed, and the Bible says that the years seemed like only days to him because he was so in love (Gen 29:20).

Finally the wedding night came, however Laban deceitfully sent Leah into Jacob’s tent instead of Rachael. When Jacob realised the next morning what had happened he was understandably very angry. It was at this point that Laban chose to explain to Jacob that it was his cultures custom to always marry the eldest daughter before the younger. He told Jacob that he could also marry Rachel, whom he loved, in exchange for another seven years or work, which Jacob agreed to. 

What a family. What a story. I don’t think it matters who’s shoes you choose to stand in when you look at this series of events - this situation sucks for Jacob, for Rachel and for Leah. What a complicated way to enter married life! What a crazy way to begin a family! It sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer, not something you would expect to read in the Bible! 

While I believe there are things we can learn from all the characters in this story, today our focus is Leah.

I can only imagine the hurt, pain and disappointment this young woman faced as she began her marriage. It was a position she hadn’t asked for, a role that was chosen for her. I can only imagine the feelings of rejection, the feelings of unworthiness and the feelings of inadequacy that must have plagued her heart as she struggled to find her place in this family. While the scriptures mention multiple times how much Jacob loved Rachel, but they don’t mention once that he loved or cared for Leah at all. 

And so, understandably, and like many of us do when we find ourselves in similar situations of pain and disappointment, Leah tried to be loved. She tried to be accepted and she tried to be valuable to Jacob. 

Leah did this by having babies. Producing children, especially sons, was what good wives did in this culture - and Leah was amazing - she had 4 boys! The births of her sons are listed in Genesis 29, and with the record of each birth a little of Leah’s motivation, desperation and brokenness is revealed. Let’s take a look together:

'Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. 

Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.’ Genesis 29:31-35

Leah named her firstborn son Reuben- meaning look, see or behold. And she said “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.’

Leah named her second born son Simeon- meaning to hear. And she said “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

And Leah named her third son Levi- meaning connection. And she said “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. 

If we are honest, all of us are like Leah- all of us need to be seen, need to be heard and need to experience meaningful connection. Revealed in the brokenness of this young girl, who found herself in an incredibly difficult situation, is the heart cry of each one of us. We need to be seen, we need to be heard and we crave connection. In fact, we were created for this! 

Just as Leah’s world was shaped by these three questions, our identities are shaped by how those questions are answered in our world:

- Am I seen? Am I acknowledged?

- Am I heard? Is my voice listened to?

- Am I connected? Am I found in meaningful relationships?

The way we feel these questions are answered in our lives really does play a role in shaping the way we see ourselves. Am I valued? Am I accepted? Am I acknowledged as someone with something unique to contribute? Do people see me? Do people hear me? Do people want to engage or connect with me?

Leah, in the passage we just read had a heartbreakingly sad perspective on who she was. A gut wrenchingly tragic way of viewing the world around her, of measuring her worth and of measuring her value. She was looking to her husband to answer these questions and give her life worth and meaning. When you consider her story - you can see how she found herself in that place. 

She was just waiting and hoping, that with the birth of each child Jacob would see her, would hear her, and would connect with her. That he would say something that made her feel accepted, valued, loved, wanted. That’s all of us sometimes!

And, just like Leah, we can find ourselves looking to the wrong people to answer our questions of worth and value. It can be a harsh cycle.

But I love that our God is a God of transformation. He is a God if new beginnings. 

He is a God who speaks light into darkness and hope into hopeless situations. And that is exactly what happens for Leah. This is not the end of her story. 

You see, Leah has a fourth son. And just as her heart is revealed in the naming of her first three sons, her heart is revealed as she names her fourth boy.

‘She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.’ Genesis 29:35

Leah named her fourth son Judah, which means praise and thanks.   

Something changed in Leah between the birth of Levi, her third son, and Judah, her fourth son. She went from someone crying out for connection, to someone declaring the goodness and faithfulness of God. She went from someone insecure in their worth, to someone full of confidence and assurance.

I believe that somewhere between the birth of Levi, Leah’s third child and the birth of Judah, her fourth child, she realised that her questions mattered. And she realised that God’s answers to her questions were far more important than the answers she received from anyone around her. 

Am I seen? Regardless of whether she felt she was seen and acknowledged by Jacob Leah was seen by God.

Am I heard? Regardless of whether she felt she was heard by Jacob- she was heard by God.

Will you connect with me? Regardless of whether she felt she was connected to her husband, regardless of whether she felt she was valued and accepted in her family, Leah was connected, valued, loved and accepted by her father in heaven.

As Leah’s identity was reshaped in light of this truth, her perspective completely changed! 

What can we take away from this story?

We can never build a strong or healthy identity based on the way others love and accept us. Imperfect people will never be able to love us perfectly. Neither can we live a fulfilled life by trying to gain other peoples love and acceptance. 

Instead, we need to find our value and our worth in who God says we are. We need to search for acceptance not in the opinions of others, but in His perfect and unfailing love. And we need to discover our purpose and significance in what He says about us. 

I believe that this was what set Leah free – and what will set you free too!

-Jess

P.S. The Identity Project, is a 40 day devotional journal written to help you build a strong identity and discover purpose. It is available for purchase in our store today with free shipping.